We’ve all had those moments where we later wished we had been more clear in conversations, taken charge in certain circumstances or changed the course of events in a more masterful way. What stops you from being clear, direct and focused in your communications? For most people, it’s simply an emotional reaction.
Not wanting to alienate or interrupt others, desiring to be seen as likeable or trying to be cooperative instead of standing up for what you really want or need – these are only some of the reasons why you may not communicate as honestly and directly as you should. These all have roots in the emotional nature, the non-rational and all-too-often accommodating aspect of human functioning.
These passive side-steps comfort the emotional self with conditioned messages about self-worth, for good or for bad. In every circumstance, you have a right – even an obligation – to assert your truth and get what you want or desire. However, the leap from wanting to getting is often obstructed by the emotional self who just wants to get along. The problem is that, by sacrificing your own true needs, no one is being served.
Consider the elements of any conversation, situation or event where you have not directly and clearly communicated your truth. What was the outcome? Did you later regret that you couldn’t mobilize the energy or activate the courage to clearly speak out? What was the nature of the dynamic that unfolded? A familiar theme of “maybe I’m not as good, intelligent, informed or qualified as…..?” Or just a fear that you would be judged, dismissed or criticized?
Whatever your reasons, it’s important to know that the power to change lies within you. There are several ways you can motivate yourself to get more clear in every circumstance, and assert your will to attain your dreams. Here’s a few suggestions:
- While listening to the other person, stay quiet in your mind. Don’t think about what you are going to say in response until the other person has finished speaking. Then, take a breath, stay quiet and mentally sort out what you really want to say in reply. When you are ready, speak calmly and firmly and stay in touch with your inner truth.
- When you feel nervousness, anxiety or doubt arising, use that as a cue to go deeper into yourself and connect with your needs. Don’t let your previous conditioned response get in the way of clearly stating your needs. Refocus on you, collect your energy and speak for yourself instead of trying to pacify someone else.
- Be bold. Feel the fear and take action anyway. Loving yourself means standing up for your own agenda. Courage is cultivated one situation at a time. Once you have been successful in honest self-expression, it will become easier to continue to do so. Take the leap and reap the rewards of an empowered life.
There are many additional techniques that can help you shift your consciousness whenever you desire. I’ll be sharing some powerful methods in my upcoming webinar, The Shift, and explaining how to overcome limits and get more of what you want in life.
It’s a free training that I’m offering to help you get free from conditioned reactions and claim your truth in any situation. Sign up on the home page at Touchstone Mentoring & Coaching – and join me August 17 to learn how to master your consciousness to master you life. See you there!